Community and Comfort

Sometimes I feel like Albert Einstein. Not because I'm a German-Swiss nobel laureate or am considered the father of modern physics. I didn't discover the law of the photoelectric effect. I've got no claim to fame on the theories of relativity nor can I explain the perihelion procession of Mercury and didn't contribute to the quantum theory of a monotomic gas. (Ok, I wiki'd the man)

But, because there is a constant human struggle. I want to do God's will, summed up pretty succinctly by Jesus when he said "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. The whole of the law is summed up in these two commandments"

Problem with loving people? You have to be around them to love them. And some of them are irritating, ugly and some of them are perfectly normal but just grate on your nerves. And other days, people are as wonderful as they can be but I aint always the most pleasant person to be around and I just want to be alone.

See, I love the idea of living in community, of sharing your life with those around you. Your family, church family, neighbors and community. In fact as I sit here and type this with the door and windows open, listening to the huge group of kids in our neighborhood playing in my front yard....I love community. As I sat around the backyard fire last night, and later the living room with a group of close friends, singing songs and sharing what God is showing us in our lives (with our kids running around and being goofy the whole time)....I love community. While we were doing that in the living room last night and 7 or 8 of the kids from the neighborhood wanted to come in and hang out at our house during the Bible study...I love community. When my dad and I were huddled around the laptop watching the Bama game the other day and 5 of the neighborhood kids came in, helped themselves to the chili on the stove and huddled around the computer with us....I love community.

But then there are other days. Rough day at work, too busy to do much but wave at a neighbor, rush through the workday, inhale dinner, fight with the kids to do homework, get them in bed then collapse ourselves....community aint all it's cracked up to be.

On those days...I daydream. This is my daydream. My family owns a farm in Georgia. My father and Aunt grew up there and all of us kids and grandkids and our friends grew up visiting during the summers. It's roughly 75 acres....give or take a few (no official survey has been done in ages. One of the boundaries is listed as being the branch off the creek). It has a house, what used to be the smokehouse which now is a tin roof shelter with a porch swing, a red barn and what used to be the tobacco barn which now holds hay for the cattle. It also has two ponds and some great woods for playing paintball. But what is even better than the spread out acreage...is the fact that it is a 1/2 mile off of the main dirt road. That's right....turn off the truck route onto Tallokas road, go a few miles and turn right onto the red clay Greenfield Church Road, then hang a left onto Goodson lane, go a half a mile around the bend in the driveway and there is the farm, surrounded on all sides by woods and other farms. Can't even see another house from the farm. Our entire family of 20+ descends like locusts once a year for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Family Reunion.

But in my daydream, I move my family there, live off the land raising grass fed hormone free cattle, free range chicken and pork as well as organic vegetables. This daydream, in my mind is utopia because I can avoid all contact with other people and spend all day every day with my family, and if we get irritated at one another, just take a walk to a pond and simmer down. There is one problem with this daydream.....there are no neighbors for me to love as myself.

This is where I identify with Albert Einstein. See, he once said "My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibilty has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced freedom from the need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities"

He was like me in my daydream....perfectly content to be "free" of direct contact with other human beings and human communities. Yet, he felt passionate that he was responsible to live in community.

Jesus never said those two commandments were easy, only that they were required. Perhaps this November when I go to the farm for Thanksmas I will have an opportunity to stroll to the back of the pasture, breathe deeply and enjoy my "pronounced freedom from the need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities" for about 5 minutes....then it will be back to the real business of Loving my neighbor as myself.

Reflections from a 10 year old

Karston will be getting baptized tomorrow morning and I asked him to sit down with a notebook and answer two questions for me.

One: What does it mean to be a Christian? (and I quote)

"Being a Christian means a lot to me and many others. Here are three examples of what it means. The first example is the belief of Christ of God. All the Christians I know including me believe in God. The belief of Christ is a big part of Christianity.

My second example for you is worship. Many Christians worship because it is just like talking to God, it's how we show we love him.

Last but not least is praying. We Christians believe praying is a really big thing and I agree.. If we pray for forgiveness God will most definitely forgive you.

It is much more to be a Christian than this. But there are some of the reasons"

Second: What does baptism mean?

"What it means to be baptized is like being resurrected. When you go under you're dying and when you come back up you're being brought back too, so it's like starting a new life."

Good stuff huh?

Evil Roots

James 5:4-6 says



"For listen! Hear the cries of the field workers whom you have cheated of their pay. The wages you held back cry out against you. The cries of those who harvest your fields have reached the ears of the Lord of Heaven's Armies. You have spent your years on earth in luxury, satisfying your every desire. You have fattened yourselves for the day of slaughter. You have condemned and killed innocent people, who did not resist you."



When I read this I immediately thought of large American corporations. Those who have been acused of violating human rights and child labor laws with their overseas manufacturing. Taking advantage of third world poverty allowing manufacturing at pennies on the dollar for the sake of wide profit margins. I think of the poultry company chronicled in the documentary Food, Inc. that would bus in illegal immigrants to work at below poverty wages....then seasonally when they were no longer needed, would call immigration authorities to have them arrested and deported. Or, for that matter, the companies and small businesses all over the country that employ undocumented workers at very low wages enticing them to illegally cross borders to create a better life for their family at the risk of their own life and risk of arrest. I also think of the AG giant also chronicled in Food, Inc that created patents on their seeds that puts small, honest, hard working farmers at risk of going out of business, or worse, criminal charges.



I think of BP, who hoard massive amounts of money, have record setting earnings and are able to drill for free off our shores yet don't spend the money to take precautions against enormous environmental disasters that destroy God's creation and put small businesses out of work and then refuse to direct all their efforts and finances towards creating a solution.



It makes me mad and I stand in righteous indignation with James and figuratively plant my hands on my hips, give a disapproving stare and shake my finger while taking comfort in the fact that they have "fattened themselves for the day of slaughter".



Unfortunately, God doesn't let me off the hook quite so easily. I always feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit to view Scripture as a mirror into my own life.



Where do I put my resources to work? Safely in my 401k plan? In a High Yield online savings account? In a safe in the house (no, for those of you ready to search my closets), in fine clothing or nice vehicles? In a nice home that fulfills some culturally imposed dream? On vacations and frivolous recreation? Or worse, investing in stock of the very corporations that commit the above mentioned atrocities? Or do I invest my money in financing the advance of the Kingdom of God (love, peace, mercy, justice, feeding and clothing the "least of these") by tithing and donating to worthy organizations. Do I set money aside to meet the needs of people that God brings into my path specifically to be blessed through me? Do I take my occasional excesses and share them? Do I pack a lunch to take to the city to give a homeless person? Do I take my leftovers from a restaurant meal and give them to someone needy, as the Old Testament commanded farmers to leave the corners of their field unharvested so the needy could be taken care of?



I am reminded of this by my father's Facebook post this morning.



"Spoke to someone yesterday who had tons of money. I commented that I have not done well for myself towards retirement. He said "Oh yes you have. I have money, but I have done nothing of significance with my life. You have impacted people and that is worth more than what I have." Just a reminder that eternity is more important than temporal wealth"



John Calvin once said



"They who abound in wealth seldom keep within the bounds of moderation, but abuse their abundance by extreme indulgences. There are, indeed, some rich men as I have said, who pine themselves in the midst of their abundance. For it was not without reason that the poets have imagined Tantalus to be hungry near a table well furnished. There have ever been Tantalians in the world. But James, as it has been said, does not speak of all rich men. It is enough that we see this vice commonly prevailing among the rich, that they are given too much to luxuries, to pomps and superfluities. And though the Lord allows them to live freely on what they have, yet profusion ought to be avoided and frugality practiced. For it was not in vain that the Lord by his prophets severly reproved those who slept on beds of ivory, who used precious ointments, who delighted themselves at their feasts with the sound of the harp, who were like fat cows in rich pastures. For all these things have been said, for this end, THAT WE MAY KNOW THAT MODERATION OUGHT TO BE OBSERVED, AND THAT EXRAVAGANCE IS DISPLEASING TO GOD."



Bernard of Clairvaux says:



"O vanity of vanities....Every part of the church shines, but the poor man is hungry. The church walls are clothed in gold, while the children of the church remain naked....What is gold doing in the holy place? To speak plainly, greed is the root of all evil...for the sight of these sumptuous and amazing vanities encourages man to give rather than to pray. So riches attract riches, money attracts money...The more the abundance of riches, the more willingly men give."



Hmmmm







Clement of Alexandria says:



"The Lord ate from a common bowl, and asked the disciples to sit on the grass. He washed their feet; with a towel wrapped around His waist - He, who is the Lord of the universe! He drank water from a jug of earthenware, with the Samaritan woman. Christ made use, not extravagance, His aim."



Am I allowing myself to become useLESS due to my use of finances? Or am I willing to buck the system, fight the norm to submit my finances to God and allow use, not extravagance to be the target at which God can aim me?



How about you?

Lose a friend lose God? Part IV

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

After a brief break in this topic, I am going to wrap it up with this post.

I firmly believe that when you lose a friend, you don't lose God, but you do lose the piece of that person that reveals God to you.

C.S. Lewis was part of a circle of friends called the Inklings that included J.R.R. Tolkien and another author named Charles Williams that died unexpectedly after World War II. Lewis wrote about the death of Charles Williams in an essay entitled "Friendship".

"In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's [Tolkien's] reaction to a specifically Charles joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him "to myself" now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald.....In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious 'nearness by resemblance' to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each of us has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying 'Holy, Holy, Holy' to one another (Isaiah 6:3). The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have."

That really struck me that he says, in essence, that now that Charles is dead, he has lost a part of Tolkien, the part that laughs at Charles' jokes.

I have lost a friend in my life. It hurts and it's not fun. Strange how it's been over 10 years since I saw this friend but it's still fresh. I guess it's because he didn't pass away, we have just been estranged and that leaves a lack of finality. If a friend passes away, you know that what you have lost won't be recovered in this lifetime. But an estranged friend leaves an unsettled sensation that perhaps what you have lost can be restored in this life.

This old friend and I grew up together and were best friends from age 11 thru 21. A real example of a friend that is closer than a brother. We were all mutual friends growing up so I have lost seeing Charis laugh at me when he calls me "butt munch" or even the way that he would allow me to see deep into his life when we would have talks and share things with one another that we wouldn't tell anyone else. I miss the fear and scrambling we experienced when we were only 15 and stole a mini van from a friend and wrecked it, and I miss the comraderie we built while mowing countless lawns that summer to pay for it.

More than anything, he was a friend during a crucial part of my life and journey in getting to know God. In this sense, when I lost his friendship, I lost my ability to experience God with and through him.

People are put into our lives for a reason. To see that facet of God that can only be seen through that person. And to reveal that facet of God to them that they can only see through us.

In regards to this old friend, I look forward to the day, in this life, that we will be reunited and I will get to see God through him again, and hopefully, show him a glimpse of God through me that he otherwise wouldn't experience.

As for now, I'm grateful for the multitude of good friends in my life now. At Fusion Church, Crossfitfire, work and in my neighbors, that show me a glimpse of God everyday.

Confession: I physically abused my children two nights ago.

It's true. This is hard for me to admit it, but apparently I have allowed the stress to get to me. We have a lot of things going on in our life right now, moving, work stresses etc. It's no excuse, but I allowed it to cloud my vision and I lost site of my responsibilitis as a father.

I actually choked my 10 year old son Karston until he passed out. Then, Josiah, my 7 year old just kept pushing my buttons and I ended up punching him about 4-5 times until he was in tears. Not my finest moment. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

In fact, it made me feel so sick to my stomach, that even when I woke up I still felt sick about it.

Yeah, it was just a dream. It started out that I was in a fight with this HUGE guy in a park. He wouldn't let me leave the park without fighting him. Now, most of the time when I have a fight dream, the other person is moving in real time while I'm throwing punches through molasses, no speed and it's very frustrating because I know I can whip this guys butt but I'm unable to move at real speed. This time, it was all as it should be. While he outweighed me and had about 6 inches on me, I was wailing on the dude. I was getting off punches and using his weight against him to throw him, I even put a killer arm lock on him that left him only able to fight with one hand.....but he JUST KEPT COMING!

I kept trying to get him to give it up for his own sake but he wouldn't. Finally I had enough and I was able to get behind him and put him in a choke hold until he passed out. Problem was, as soon as he passed out and hit the ground, he turned into my oldest son Karston. Of course everyone there was giving me well deserved grief for choking my son out but I assured them all that he would come back around momentarily, which he did. But as soon as he regained consciousness, he turned into this big ole dude again! So, I'm trying to let him know that for his own sake he needs to bow out but he wouldn't do it. I felt like one of the heroes in a good Louis Lamour western, just wailing on the guy but he just kept coming back for more. So...I unleashed a furious combo of about 5 punches to the temples on either side of his head. At which point, he immediately turned into my sweet sensitive 7 year old Josiah who was standing in front of me not only crying from the pain, but from the obvious hurt and betrayal I had just given him. I then had to sit on the ground and hug him telling him that I loved him and, after all, I had warned him I didn't want to fight him.


WHAT THE HECK????!!!!!!

What kind of dream is that that left me feeling sick to my stomach even after I woke up? I'm the kind of person that always wants to know what a dream means. You know, what's it mean when you have that dream that you are naked in front of your whole class in 8th grade?

Well, after a couple days of reflection, I think this was a reminder from God to not allow my situation and struggles, which seem to outweigh me and have at least 6 inches on me, to affect my family. To be very careful not to mistake my children and their tendencies to disobey and lie and generally act like savage 7 and 10 year olds, as my enemy. Focus my determination and will to fight on those circumstances, and focus every ounce of my energy on bestowing upon my children, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. It's what they deserve.

I'll be a savage and wail on my problems, but I'll be a "velvet covered brick" with my children. Be solid and unmoving on the outside, but soft and tender on the outside. That's a real man.

A fake man is tough looking on the outside, like a brick, but weak and soft on the inside. That's the kind of man that beats his kids up but is too much of a wuss to stand up to a big problem.

By the grace of God, you will never hear me start a real life sentence with "Confession: I physically abused my children two nights ago"

Lose a friend lose God? Part III

So, I have talked about the importance of friendships in your relationship with God, and have talked about seeing a glimpse of God in the relationships around you.

In this "episode" I want to talk about a passage in Scripture. Matthew 7:3-6 says:

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I always used to view this as a commentary against being judgemental, realizing that it's hypocritical to judge the faults of someone when in reality, you are full of enough of your own faults. While this is very true, I realized something about 10 years ago having to do with the mechanics of how our eyeballs work.

Experiment time.....try this. You can either gaze into someone else's eye, or stare at your own in a mirror.

This is how the human eye works:

The first step in how your eye works is the light from the outside world traveling to your eye.

The light then enters the eye through the pupil and travels to the cornea.

The cornea then focuses the light upon the lens.

The lens further focuses the light on the retina. The image is flipped over and spread across the back of the retina. The retina then carries the light signals to the brain via the optic nerve.

This is the interesting part. If you look into someone else's eye, in good light, you will see what they see, flipped over. When you see into someone's eye, you can see yourself....tiny and upside down.

Let's get back to Jesus' example in Matthew. Let's just assume you literally had a plank in your eye (and hadn't previously noticed the seering pain that comes with a log stuck in your eye) and you were face to face with a friend and you leaned in close to tell them something serious, then noticed what looked like a speck of sawdust in their eye.

That "sawdust" you would be looking at would actually be a tiny, flipped over mirror image of the pine tree protruding from your own eye. Jesus' point was that when you see something in someone that bothers you, realize that it's just a minute reflection of a large problem in your own life.

Our friends, especially when their character flaws get on our nerves, are Jesus' way of communicating to us.

If I'm not involved in close friendships, I won't have the opportunity to see myself and my faults that God wants me to work on. He uses the lamp of their eyes to illuminate the areas of my life He wants to give me the grace to improve.

Yes, if I lose a friend, I lose that communcation from God, through their eyes. If I lose a friend, I lose God.

Stay tuned to see what C.S. Lewis and Lord of The Rings has to say about finding God in our friendships.

Lose a friend lose God? Part II

Broken legs, babies and moving in the winter.

In Genesis 35:11, just after God changed Jacob's name to Israel, God told him that a "community of nations will come from you" Interesting that he used the word "community". I would actually enjoy studying the Hebrew word used here but all my books are packed in boxes. That would probably only serve to give me some head knowledge regarding community but I think I have a practical knowledge of community.

I think that when there is a void of friendship, there is a part of God that is lost. I know that I see God in the community around me.

I know that I see a glimpse of God when I'm working out and a group of people that have invested in me and my well being are encouraging me to "push through the suck" and attain a level of intensity, speed, strength, endurance that I have previously been unable to achieve.

I know that I see God in little things at work. Like in the sharing of pecans and venison sausage.
Or in more important things, like when a co worker and I break through the realm of "shop talk" and share with one another about personal loss, or former dissapointments and failures in life.

I know that I see God when I see our entire church family love on baby Lucy and baby Chloe (and soon to be Ritchie twins) when they are around.

I know that I see God when I see an entire community gather around our friend Hannah when she broke her leg recently. I see God when I see people organize meal delivery and time to just hang out with her while she is immobile because we don't want someone we love to have to be alone during a difficult time. I see God when I know that one of our friends went to see Hannah and offered to wash her hair for her so she could feel refreshed. Yep, you heard me, washed her hair for her. Pretty awesome friendships that are a reflection of God.

I know I see God in my friends who have offered to give up a Saturday of relaxing with their family to come out in the cold and help us move, because they know this is a move that our circumstances chose for us and we would not have chosen to do on our own and they don't want us to have to do it without support.

I know I see God when I see the gang of children at church running around screaming and being free to act like children.

I have no question I see God in the earth shaking, full sprint, body slam hugs that Alyssa, Savannah and Mercy greet one another with when they see each other.

I think I have a pretty clear idea of community. And I know for certain that if I lost these things, these friends, I would definitely feel a sense of losing a part of God.

Stay tuned to see how an irritated eye and CS Lewis and Lord of the Rings all prove that losing friends contributes to a loss of the nature of God.

Lose a friend lose God?

Friendships have always been important to me. I consider myself a good friend, but, I guess everyone considers themselves a good friend. I think I'm a good friend because Proverbs says that a friend must show himself friendly. I have so many good (quality) friends that, following the logic of this proverb, I must have been given enough of God's grace to be a good friend to them or they wouldn't stick around as my friend.

Recently, in church, our pastor Eric Lerew asked people why they come to church. My response was meant to be somewhat humorous but actually showed a bit of my heart. I said I come to church because without church I wouldn't have friends. It was meant as a bit of self deprecating humour. I do have friends where I workout at Crossfitfire and I do have friends at work as well as old childhood friends I have stayed in touch with (thanks in great part to Facebook). But as I reflected on my answer, I realized that my friendships are very important and do in fact play a very spiritual role in my life.

Several years ago I posted a series of blogs on how disgusted I was with church and Christians. I really was rather irritated and disillusioned with Christianity in it's present state. The real revelation that came to me recently was that this was during a time in my life that I was very disconnected from any real friendships. We didn't have a church family that fostered close friendships, I didn't have a community of like minded people I worked out with, we hadn't discovered the "magic" of Facebook and My Space and at work I was moving from one office to another rather frequently and not establishing meaningful friendships.

This got me thinking and I've come to a few conclusions. I'm going to cut this one short and make this a series so it doesn't become too long and boring, but stay tuned over the next couple days to see how C.S. Lewis, Lord of The Rings, babies, broken legs, moving in the winter and a splinter in the eyeball all play into the importance of friendships in knowing God more.

Final week....gotta be strict

Today

Breakfast - 4 scrambled eggs

Lunch - bunless burger and small bowl of chili

Dinner - steak fajitas without the tortilla. steak, green pepper, avocado and hot sauce

No workout today. Ran home, cooked, took my son to Cub Scout Den meeting came home to eat, now helping my son finish his homework. I hate days like this.


Should make it to the fort tomorrow night, Thurs, night and Friday night. Will have to get a run in on Wednesday night and be sure not to let Saturday become a "challenge is over eat what you want to" but stick with the girl that brought me to the dance.

As of Sat. morning I'm down 30 lbs. since June and 20 lbs. since the beginning of the Better Body Challenge. Pants I haven't worn in quite some time fit now, my suits are way too big and I have to re-learn how to tie my ties becaust there isn't such a fat neck to fit around or such a large bulge to have to compensate for in the midsection.

Good changes. Received more unsolicited compliments from people who haven't seen me for a few months...that's always nice.

The plan for tomorrow is:

Breakfast - eggs and turkey bacon (I know, turkey. my wife bought it)

Lunch - Chicken breasts with avocado

Dinner.....hmmm maybe meatloaf or some ground beef browned in olive oil with veggies, garlic onion, spinach broccoli and mixed nuts

Tuesday thru Thursday

Tuesday I had 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties for breakfast

for lunch I had a small 6 oz. filet which left me starving in mid afternoon

I was planning to get to the Fort Tuesday evening but received a call from my very sick wife. Had to go the E.R. and it turns out she had bronchial pneumonia. I didn't have dinner until about 11 pm and the fatigue along with the starvation was too much to resist and I had a nasty meal of taco bell.

Wednesday

I was running late to a meeting with my boss and didn't have time to eat breakfast and didn't have time to eat until 1:00. I had a bunless burger and small bowl of chili.

I had a cub scout meeting with my son at 7 pm and only got to eat after that when I had another bunless burger.

Thursday


Much better day. 3 eggs, 2 sausage patties.

A beautiful grass fed t-bone for lunch

Went to the Fort and destroyed my legs:
Broad jumps, Bear crawls, wheelbarrow, crab crawl
Overhead squats: 3-3-3-1-1-1- 30k, 40k, 40k, 50k, 55k, 55k
Scaled WOD 3 gym lengths of lunge steps, 15, pull ups, 15 sit ups
lunge steps 9 pull ups, 9 sit ups
lunge steps 6 pull ups 6 sit ups
lunge steps 3 pull ups 3 sit ups

Finished in 10:37. Time to progress beyond the black band and onto the green band for the pull-ups.

Dinner I had a half pound of grass feed ground beef sauteed in olive oil with broccoli, sage, spinach and a handful of mixed nuts. Mmm Mmmm good!

As of yesterday morning I'm at 29 lbs. lost since June and 19 lbs. lost since beginning Cross Fit in October.

10/19

Had smoked sausage and eggs for breakfast

jalapeno burger minus the bun for lunch

all grass fed beef meatloaf for dinner

2.25 mile run

10/18 addendum

So, just had my wife take some "almost after pictures" two weeks early. Got to admit, I can see some difference but not as much as I would like. I thought 28 lbs. would have looked a bit more dramatice. Guess I gotta REALLY buckle down these last two weeks.

10/18 update

Yesterday I had 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties for my early morning birthday tradition with my son who just turned 10.

lunch I had a hamburger without the bun and a small bowl of chili

dinner I had chili and 4 small sausage meatballs.

I've found myself cheating on the nutrition here and there and need to curb that. I has some sour cream onion chips and a coke last night also.

Today I had my Sunday morning "date" with my 7 year old son and had a sausage omelet and totally laid off the hashbrowns and toast, but I did have a bite of his waffle.

I ended up not having lunch cause we were so busy getting ready for and then having Karston's birthday/costume party. I only had 3 bites of cake and one handful of doritos. Oh, and about 4 oreos.

Yeah, see what I mean about cheating a little bit?

I then had a bowl of chili around 3:00 made with no beans or corn but with ground beef, smoked sausage and sirloin. Oh, yeah, and a beer.

Will probably have another bowl of chili during the game tonight.

Because of the cheating I was self-motivated to get a workout in so I did 2 rounds of

800m run (slow jog if I'm being honest)
35 air squats

Totally forgot to set my stopwatch.

Will weigh in the morning but I'm not hopeful as I cheated a bit this weekend. I'm planning to get really strict again and go all out these last two weeks of the challenge.

10/16 body challenge update

Ok, I'm down 28 lbs. and had another unsolicited compliment from a co worker today, those are always nice. The bummer is I've only been able to make it to the fort once this week due to work schedule.

I made it for about 10 min. yesterday to pick up my grass feed beef before rushing off to a cub scout meeting. I'm hoping to lose another 2-3 lbs. by the time I weigh in on Monday. I'm also gonna have to look at the website Bill gave me for some Crossfit homework to get some WOD ideas to do at home on the evenings that I can't make it in.

Food:

Yesterday: Breakfast - 2 scrambled eggs and 2 sausage patties
Lunch - a small 6 oz. bacon wrapped filet mignon
Dinner (totally overate due to the stress of the long hours and a small lunch combined with a hectic schedule) Had meatloaf, salad, cole slaw (probably high sugar count) and 5 Buffalo Wings and fell into the old habit of finishing the kids food so I had a few of my son's bbq rib tips. The only victory is that I left the french fries and soup alone.


Today: Breakfast - 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties
Lunch - not sure, probably a bunless burger
Dinner - chicken breast baked in a tomato sauce with some steamed veggies

BTW Bill and Jennie, my sis-in-law in Florida is interested in learning more about crossfit so when she is up between xmas and new year she may come hang out on a Saturday.

Sept 24, 2006

Sunday, September 24, 2006
What are you doing God?
So, we have begun attending a church here in the area that I have known about for some time and always liked their style of ministry. I've been working outside of the church for three years now and have felt that that is just where God has had us for a variety of reasons which have been noted in previous blogs. Now, I'm in a position at work as Financial Advisor which I really enjoy and had to go through extensive work to pass state exams to become qualified for. I'm in a position to make some good money going forward and get my family in a place without debt and actually save some money for the future. Now God begins stirring something in me that makes me think He might be calling us back into the ministry at some time.
This church wants me to take some leadership roles and we have been asked by three staff members to submit my resume. When I started this job, my prayer was that I not get to a place where I was so comortable financially that I would be scared to re-enter the "ministry". Well, we're definitely not comfortable, we're a little behind on the mortgage, can't afford a car I need and my house in Alabama hasn't sold and the tenant is now gone so I have double mortgage to pay. But, it's on the horizon. As soon as the house sells I can pay off debt and with a couple of paychecks be on top for the first time in our lives. Now, I'm the first to say that money isn't everything, but I also believe God wants to bless His people financially, not so we can get more stuff but so we can be more effective blessing other people.
If he calls me back into the ministry am I going to always be behind financially? Last night at church the message was regarding the deceptiveness of wealth. Again, not that money is bad, but we always think if we have enough our lives will be satisfied and that's never the case. Bill Gates, who has earned 50 BILLION dollars began giving it all away in 1998 because he said it wouldn't be good for his kids to inherit it. The only thing that satisfies is being in the center of His will in your life and feeling Him smile at you.
Charis and I were talking about this, and she made the comment that if the salary of being on staff would be equivalent to what my pay is now, that it's a no brainer, we would be in the ministry. But that would be an easy decision and one thing I know about God is that He likes to form character in my life by giving me difficult decisions. So, would I be willing to step back into the ministry if it would be a drastic pay cut. What if I can't imagine how the bills would be paid? We own a house now and the cost of living up here is pretty drastic. What if it doesn't work on paper and God asks us to do it. Is our faith strong enough to obey?
Maybe God will let us sell our house, pay off all our debt and receive a high paying ministry position. Maybe we've learned a long painful lesson regarding the purpose of finances and he can trust us with that. Maybe I get paid well to have my dream ministry position of travelling to be a missionary to missionaries and helping people in the local church find their true ministry passion. But what if that time isn't here? Pray that I can hear Him clearly and respond to Him appropriately.
I don't feel like now is the time to make a change, but I definitely feel God asking me to examine my heart and determine if I can trust Him if He did make that call.

September 17, 2006

Sunday, September 17, 2006
He says it quite well
This is a response to my blog from a member of one of my groups. While I don't promote and governmental commentary, he does make a few good points.

You're confusing those who claim to be Christians with genuine Christians. The people in the U.S. who make the biggest noise about being Christians, and all their Christian values and so on are some of the least Christian people I've ever met. I've only been a Christian for a few years, having been agnostic most of my 50 years. I'd look at the people around me who called themselves "Christians", and think, "what in the world would I want to be like that for?" But Christ does not call us to be like that people who loudly proclaim themselves to be Christians, he calls us to be like him. The Religious Right, who call themselves Christians, bear no resemblance to Christ that I can see, therefore I don't see how we can call them Christians.Not that I'm that great a Christian, either. Being like Christ is a pretty hard thing to do, and none of us do a very good job of it....

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. - Mohandas GandhiThe problem with Christianity is not that it has been tried and found wanting, but that it has been found difficult, and left untried. - G.K. ChestertonChristendom has done away with Christianity without being quite aware of it. - Soren Kierkegaard*** I'm not a Christian but desire to love God and ALL people with every fiber of my being. ***That sounds pretty Christian to me.Jim

Old blog from Sept 03, 2006--Christian hater

So, there are some blogs that I posted a few years ago that I wanted to paste into my current blog in order to have a good record of thoughts I had and things I went through. This particular blog was very much posted in a time when I was really tired of the behavior of most American Christians.

The process God took me through was interesting. First, he was patient with me and let me have my bad attitude. He then gently steared me back to the understanding that everything I saw in "those Christians" were the very things about me that God was sickened by.

I'm also going to post the comments that were given back when I first posted this blog. There was some good dialog from many of my friends.

Sunday, September 03, 2006
Am I a Christian?
I realize that I used to be a really good Christian...was really good at being judgemental, thinking I had to be sure that everyone around me followed the rules that I believed were the way a Christian should act. Couldn't accept anyone that didn't "look" or "talk" like a Christian. I've come to realize that I don't really like Christians very much. That's not a real fair thing to say..it's not that I don't like them, I just have a hard time stomaching them. Christianity has become such a religion, a subculture, a weird civilization that is so concerned with not being "tainted" by the world that it has forgotten that it is called to love the world. When people ask me if I am a Christian, I have to tell them no. That I am really in love with God, but not so keen about his people. One of the Great Commandments is that we not take the Lord's name in vain. What that means is that we not misrepresent God's character, and we have all done a pretty good job of misrepresentation. I love God and want to look more like him, and I think I have looked more like him when I'm sitting in a bar with a group of friends playing basketball and we end up talking about God, or about how I'm in love with my wife and have no desire to cheat on her. I think I look more like him when people say "wow, when I'm around you I don't feel uncomfortable, like I have to quit cussing or pray before my meals." They wouldn't feel uncomfortable around Jesus would they? He is the ultimate in loving people and accepting them BEFORE they change. Remember Nicodemus? Jesus said "hey lets hang out" THEN Nicodemus decided to change the way he acted and looked. I don't know, it's a bit of a soap box I guess, I just think Christians have done a superb job of making Jesus look undesirable. I'm not a Christian, but I love God with all of my heart. Isn't that one of only two things he's asked us to do? Love me with all your heart soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself? Christians are some of the most un-neighborly people I know. It's kind of like looking at a married couple where the husband is the perfect husband. Loves his wife, goes out of his way for her, always puts her first, sacrifices his life to make hers the best it can possibly be. And the wife disregards it, ignores him, takes his love for granted and gives the impression that he mistreats her. I love God an awful lot, but his bride disgusts me and I hope she can learn to appreciate the good man she has. It's like Mick says to Rocky in Rocky III, "But then the worst thing happened that could happen to any fighter, you got civilized" The church has become so concerned with being accepted that it has become civilized and because of it, has become rejected. So... I'm not a Christian but desire to love God and ALL people with every fiber of my being.

Oct 4th

Well....this was my 34th birthday weekend and therefore the first time I've cheated on my nutrition since starting this challenge.


Saturday, my birthday, I had 2 sausage patties and 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast.

I then had to work until about 1:30 but then had some yummy grilled chicken for lunch.

I then met up with friends and family at Joe's Crab Shack in Gurnee. My dinner was actually not a problem, I had broiled tilapia, shrimp and crab meat. I did sneak one of my wife's hushpuppies though.

I wasn't planning to have dessert, but my mother had a huge surprise for me. See, when I was in college I would occassionally work for a family friend who was a wedding planner/caterer. I always loved the chocolate on chocolate cake she would make for the groom's cake. So, at our wedding I of course requested this cake. In the busyness of our reception, I didn't get any of the cake and my sister in law took the leftovers home with her so I never got any and have jokingly whined and complained about it for 13 years now. Well...my mother looked up this old family friend on facebook. She still lives in Birmingham. My mother got the recipe sent to her and made for me the chocolate on chocolate grooms cake for my birthday. So, you see, I just had to have some.

I only had one piece and we ended up giving the leftovers to our wait staff because we all knew if we took it home we would eat it.

So, that was my Saturday cheat.

Sunday:

I took my oldest son to breakfast for some one on one time and had a sausage omelet that of course had cheese in it.

Then, at church I took one bite of birthday cake, but for dinner I had a quesadilla complete with flour fajita.

So, back on the wagon for me. Will weigh tomorrow and see how the progress is coming.

I will say, I am beginning to get compliments from a lot of people so that's rewarding.

Thanks to the crossforters for being supportive and pushing me to finish the WOD's when I'm perfectly content to quit. :-)

Sept. 30

Ok, yesterday was eggs with corned beef hash. Can't do that again, the hash has potatos in it so the leftover can went to the dogs.

Lunch was a small cob salad that didn't hold me over until I got home so I grabbed a couple beef skewers at Dominicks on the way home.

Dinner: Culvers where I had a Bunless Burger and 1 french fry. Should have resisted the one fry on principal alone but alas...it was good.

Today

Breakfast: 3 strips bacon and 2 scrambled eggs

Lunch: Delish steak I grilled this morning before leaving for work

Dinner: Steak/bacon chili been cooking in the crockpot all day....looking forward to that one.

Monday I worked out at the Fort and we did Isabel. I finished the fastest but I can't claim to have had the heaviest weight, nor the prescribed weight. Rob the Bruce did it with 50k and I finished with 40k.

Tuesday I went for another run on my "couch to 5k" program. This consisted of a 5 min. warm up walk, some stretches then a 5 min. run/3 min. walk/8 min. run/3 min. walk/5 min. run.

All in, according to walkjogrun.net I covered 2.31 miles.

Today is a rest day as I am working late. Will be at the Fort on Thursday and Friday at the 5:00 class.

Sept. 28th

Ok...not sure how it happened but the scale says I dropped a few more pounds. I am apparently at 25 lbs. lost since early June which would put it at roughly 15 lbs. lost since beginning the 60 day body challenge.

My clothes are fitting looser, I've run out of notches on my belt but I'm waiting to tailor my clothes as I intend to lose a good bit more. I've had a few comments from co-workers and clients alike that I look like I've lost weight so that's always rewarding.

Going to my first "non ramp up" crossfit tonight...hope I don't die.

Diet.

Yesterday:

Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs and orange juice

Lunch: 6 oz. filet mignon

Dinner: meatballs with tomato sauce and salad. (It was another temptation conquered as it was "Italian dinner night" at church. I was able to resist although I did notice another crossfitter eat some cake ahem ahem....not naming names.

Today:

Breakfast: 3 slices bacon and 2 scrambled eggs with orange juice

Lunch: roasted pork tenderloin

Dinner: will be baked pork chops in tomato sauce and sauteed veggies (wow, that's a lot of pig in one day....I imagine I should tone that one down a bit?)

I brought grapes and mixed nuts for a snack although I've really not been hungry between meals. Will probably eat some nuts on the way to crossfit.

Next blog I'll share a little about my experience in Canada.