1st graders, farts and bloody butts

So...I volunteered to help in The Great Adventure kids program at our church THE CHAPEL...wow, that's not my calling. It's a great kids program and it is very interactive and is fast paced to keep the kids attention. However, I had first grade boys and nothing keeps their attention. The story of course was the resurrection of Christ and after a short cartoon, we were to discuss, in our small group some of the things that ocurred. Well, immediately a hand went up to inform me that "someone did a fart over here" which of course sent the kids laughing and pointing at each other. Then, when I asked what happened to the guards at the tomb, I thought we were making progress when one little boy answered..."There was a big flash of light, like lightning, and it hurt the guards eyes and scared them, so they passed out." However, he went on to explain that the guards fell and hit their heads on rocks, so "blood came pouring out of their butts"??!!???!!???!!???!??? I don't remember that ever being in the Bible and I don't think a knock on the head could possibly cause that bodily reaction and I'm more than a little disturbed that this kid had a bit of a fixation on blood and farts!! And more than once I wanted to shout BUHLUD NOT FUNNYYYYY!!!



It was quite an interesting night. I confiscated a hat, pokemon cards, a game stop gift card, had to stop a boy from sitting in front of the smaller kids to block their view, had two boys doing a push up contest in the middle of the lesson, one kid jumping on others, one taking his shoes off and sticking his feet on another kids nose, two kids pulling up the carpet and someone "doing a fart over here." Wow, I think I'll stick with older people from now on. More power to those of you like my brother Seth who are childrens pastors cause it takes a special grace.