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Monday, February 01, 2010

Lose a friend lose God? Part IV

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

After a brief break in this topic, I am going to wrap it up with this post.

I firmly believe that when you lose a friend, you don't lose God, but you do lose the piece of that person that reveals God to you.

C.S. Lewis was part of a circle of friends called the Inklings that included J.R.R. Tolkien and another author named Charles Williams that died unexpectedly after World War II. Lewis wrote about the death of Charles Williams in an essay entitled "Friendship".

"In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's [Tolkien's] reaction to a specifically Charles joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him "to myself" now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald.....In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious 'nearness by resemblance' to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each of us has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying 'Holy, Holy, Holy' to one another (Isaiah 6:3). The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have."

That really struck me that he says, in essence, that now that Charles is dead, he has lost a part of Tolkien, the part that laughs at Charles' jokes.

I have lost a friend in my life. It hurts and it's not fun. Strange how it's been over 10 years since I saw this friend but it's still fresh. I guess it's because he didn't pass away, we have just been estranged and that leaves a lack of finality. If a friend passes away, you know that what you have lost won't be recovered in this lifetime. But an estranged friend leaves an unsettled sensation that perhaps what you have lost can be restored in this life.

This old friend and I grew up together and were best friends from age 11 thru 21. A real example of a friend that is closer than a brother. We were all mutual friends growing up so I have lost seeing Charis laugh at me when he calls me "butt munch" or even the way that he would allow me to see deep into his life when we would have talks and share things with one another that we wouldn't tell anyone else. I miss the fear and scrambling we experienced when we were only 15 and stole a mini van from a friend and wrecked it, and I miss the comraderie we built while mowing countless lawns that summer to pay for it.

More than anything, he was a friend during a crucial part of my life and journey in getting to know God. In this sense, when I lost his friendship, I lost my ability to experience God with and through him.

People are put into our lives for a reason. To see that facet of God that can only be seen through that person. And to reveal that facet of God to them that they can only see through us.

In regards to this old friend, I look forward to the day, in this life, that we will be reunited and I will get to see God through him again, and hopefully, show him a glimpse of God through me that he otherwise wouldn't experience.

As for now, I'm grateful for the multitude of good friends in my life now. At Fusion Church, Crossfitfire, work and in my neighbors, that show me a glimpse of God everyday.