A shooting in first grade!!!! Really???

So, my 1st grader was assigned to do a project that involved heroes, celebration, flag and landmarks. So my wife (oops, I mean Josiah) did a great shadow box with a firework celebration, the statue of liberty and a group of American soldiers guarding an American Flag (from a pirate no less...only because we dont have a toy plastic Bin Laden).

Well....here's where the fun begins. Josiah came home with his toy soldiers in
a ziploc bag.

So...I called the teacher to inquire....because inquiring minds want to know. What follows is a transcript of the conversation, complete with my unspoken thoughts in italics.

ME: "This is Josiah's father. His toy soldiers came home in a ziploc bag today, I was just wondering if there were any problems?"

TEACHER: "Yeah...by the way, Josiah did a great job on his project"

MY BRAIN: kudos honey, you did a great job on that 1st grade project

TEACHER: "he displayed it to the whole class and I was very proud of him"

MY SARCASTIC BRAIN: okay lady, cut the crap and let's get to the ridiculous answer I know is coming

TEACHER: "We sent the soldiers home because...well, they have guns"

VERY SARCASTIC BRAIN: REALLY?! THE SOLDIERS DEFENDING OUR FREEDOM ACTUALLY HAD GUNS!!!! OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE SUCH A COLOSSAL MISTAKE TO SEND SOMETHING TRUTHFUL TO SCHOOL!! Really?? that's a national security issue that the 1/2 inch plastic soldiers are carrying 1 cm, plastic, bent guns? I should have made sure to break the guns off and send them to school carrying snowballs CAUSE THAT'S HOW OUR SOLDIERS DEFENDED THE FLAG AT IWO FREAKIN JIMA!!!

ME: "Well, they are American Soldiers (repeat the rant from above) and I'm concerned about the message we send Josiah when mom and dad are teaching him that our soldiers are heroes and they are the reason we have a freedom to protect in the first place....yet those soldiers aren't able to make an appearance at school"

TEACHER: "I understand, we are just worried that at this age, the boys especially...

REALLY IRRITATED BRAIN: BECAUSE ALL BOYS ARE CREATED EVIL AND STUPID?

TEACHER: ....won't be able to differntiate between real and make believe."

SARCASTIC MASCULINE BRAIN: Wow lady, you grew up without any brothers didn't you?

RATIONAL ME: "I understand and appreciate the fine line you have to walk at the school and I'm not really upset, I just believe this was handled in an overly sensitive manner and want my concern to be duly noted"

TEACHER: "I understand what you're saying, and I wouldn't ever try to tell a person what they should allow in their home...

MY "WATCH OUT YOU MIGHT CROSS THE LINE HERE" BRAIN: YOU ARE *@#* RIGHT YOU WON'T!!

TEACHER: but at school we really can't allow guns.

BRAIN: Even tiny plastic ones held by tiny plastic solders?

TEACHER: In fact, I've had some problems with some of the boys in the class not being able to differentiate between real and make believe this year when it comes to guns"

RESTRAINED BRAIN SLIPPING INTO SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE SETH MEYERS BRAIN:

REALLY????????? THERE HAS BEEN A SHOOTING IN THE FIRST GRADE CLASS THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT?Really???You mean to tell me a kid brought a 9 mm to school and shot one of the other kids because he couldn't differentiate between real and make believe???!!! Really??? How did I not hear about this? I would think Josiah would have come home and said "dad, you won't believe what happened today!" Really??? How did it not make the news, what kind of cover up is this? I would have pulled my kid out of school for counseling if I'd have known about it. No note home from the teacher or anything? Really???

I mean really....I grew up playing American vs. Russian, cops vs. robbers, cowboys and indians and just plain old shoot each other with anything you can find, including a chicken nugget bitten into the shape of a gun for heavens sake. I can assure you, when I met my first Russian friend...I didn't shoot him!! I never became a vigilante and hunted bad guys, I never shot an Indian and real bullets never came out of my chicken nuggets!!!!

Really???!!!! we're worried kids are stupid enough to shoot each other for real cause they don't know the difference? Heck, we even had bb gun wars as a kid and we knew that they would hurt but not kill. I even made my little brothers stand still and let me shoot them in the butt with the bb guns, but Really!!! I never pulled the 12 gauge down not knowing the difference between reality and make believe and shot either of them in the butt!!!

Really?? my kid can't take a small toy soldier to school? This is insane!

RATIONAL HEATH: "Well, thank you for your time, I still think it was handled in an overly sensitive manner. Have a nice day"

REALLY??