Final week....gotta be strict

Today

Breakfast - 4 scrambled eggs

Lunch - bunless burger and small bowl of chili

Dinner - steak fajitas without the tortilla. steak, green pepper, avocado and hot sauce

No workout today. Ran home, cooked, took my son to Cub Scout Den meeting came home to eat, now helping my son finish his homework. I hate days like this.


Should make it to the fort tomorrow night, Thurs, night and Friday night. Will have to get a run in on Wednesday night and be sure not to let Saturday become a "challenge is over eat what you want to" but stick with the girl that brought me to the dance.

As of Sat. morning I'm down 30 lbs. since June and 20 lbs. since the beginning of the Better Body Challenge. Pants I haven't worn in quite some time fit now, my suits are way too big and I have to re-learn how to tie my ties becaust there isn't such a fat neck to fit around or such a large bulge to have to compensate for in the midsection.

Good changes. Received more unsolicited compliments from people who haven't seen me for a few months...that's always nice.

The plan for tomorrow is:

Breakfast - eggs and turkey bacon (I know, turkey. my wife bought it)

Lunch - Chicken breasts with avocado

Dinner.....hmmm maybe meatloaf or some ground beef browned in olive oil with veggies, garlic onion, spinach broccoli and mixed nuts

Tuesday thru Thursday

Tuesday I had 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties for breakfast

for lunch I had a small 6 oz. filet which left me starving in mid afternoon

I was planning to get to the Fort Tuesday evening but received a call from my very sick wife. Had to go the E.R. and it turns out she had bronchial pneumonia. I didn't have dinner until about 11 pm and the fatigue along with the starvation was too much to resist and I had a nasty meal of taco bell.

Wednesday

I was running late to a meeting with my boss and didn't have time to eat breakfast and didn't have time to eat until 1:00. I had a bunless burger and small bowl of chili.

I had a cub scout meeting with my son at 7 pm and only got to eat after that when I had another bunless burger.

Thursday


Much better day. 3 eggs, 2 sausage patties.

A beautiful grass fed t-bone for lunch

Went to the Fort and destroyed my legs:
Broad jumps, Bear crawls, wheelbarrow, crab crawl
Overhead squats: 3-3-3-1-1-1- 30k, 40k, 40k, 50k, 55k, 55k
Scaled WOD 3 gym lengths of lunge steps, 15, pull ups, 15 sit ups
lunge steps 9 pull ups, 9 sit ups
lunge steps 6 pull ups 6 sit ups
lunge steps 3 pull ups 3 sit ups

Finished in 10:37. Time to progress beyond the black band and onto the green band for the pull-ups.

Dinner I had a half pound of grass feed ground beef sauteed in olive oil with broccoli, sage, spinach and a handful of mixed nuts. Mmm Mmmm good!

As of yesterday morning I'm at 29 lbs. lost since June and 19 lbs. lost since beginning Cross Fit in October.

10/19

Had smoked sausage and eggs for breakfast

jalapeno burger minus the bun for lunch

all grass fed beef meatloaf for dinner

2.25 mile run

10/18 addendum

So, just had my wife take some "almost after pictures" two weeks early. Got to admit, I can see some difference but not as much as I would like. I thought 28 lbs. would have looked a bit more dramatice. Guess I gotta REALLY buckle down these last two weeks.

10/18 update

Yesterday I had 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties for my early morning birthday tradition with my son who just turned 10.

lunch I had a hamburger without the bun and a small bowl of chili

dinner I had chili and 4 small sausage meatballs.

I've found myself cheating on the nutrition here and there and need to curb that. I has some sour cream onion chips and a coke last night also.

Today I had my Sunday morning "date" with my 7 year old son and had a sausage omelet and totally laid off the hashbrowns and toast, but I did have a bite of his waffle.

I ended up not having lunch cause we were so busy getting ready for and then having Karston's birthday/costume party. I only had 3 bites of cake and one handful of doritos. Oh, and about 4 oreos.

Yeah, see what I mean about cheating a little bit?

I then had a bowl of chili around 3:00 made with no beans or corn but with ground beef, smoked sausage and sirloin. Oh, yeah, and a beer.

Will probably have another bowl of chili during the game tonight.

Because of the cheating I was self-motivated to get a workout in so I did 2 rounds of

800m run (slow jog if I'm being honest)
35 air squats

Totally forgot to set my stopwatch.

Will weigh in the morning but I'm not hopeful as I cheated a bit this weekend. I'm planning to get really strict again and go all out these last two weeks of the challenge.

10/16 body challenge update

Ok, I'm down 28 lbs. and had another unsolicited compliment from a co worker today, those are always nice. The bummer is I've only been able to make it to the fort once this week due to work schedule.

I made it for about 10 min. yesterday to pick up my grass feed beef before rushing off to a cub scout meeting. I'm hoping to lose another 2-3 lbs. by the time I weigh in on Monday. I'm also gonna have to look at the website Bill gave me for some Crossfit homework to get some WOD ideas to do at home on the evenings that I can't make it in.

Food:

Yesterday: Breakfast - 2 scrambled eggs and 2 sausage patties
Lunch - a small 6 oz. bacon wrapped filet mignon
Dinner (totally overate due to the stress of the long hours and a small lunch combined with a hectic schedule) Had meatloaf, salad, cole slaw (probably high sugar count) and 5 Buffalo Wings and fell into the old habit of finishing the kids food so I had a few of my son's bbq rib tips. The only victory is that I left the french fries and soup alone.


Today: Breakfast - 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties
Lunch - not sure, probably a bunless burger
Dinner - chicken breast baked in a tomato sauce with some steamed veggies

BTW Bill and Jennie, my sis-in-law in Florida is interested in learning more about crossfit so when she is up between xmas and new year she may come hang out on a Saturday.

Sept 24, 2006

Sunday, September 24, 2006
What are you doing God?
So, we have begun attending a church here in the area that I have known about for some time and always liked their style of ministry. I've been working outside of the church for three years now and have felt that that is just where God has had us for a variety of reasons which have been noted in previous blogs. Now, I'm in a position at work as Financial Advisor which I really enjoy and had to go through extensive work to pass state exams to become qualified for. I'm in a position to make some good money going forward and get my family in a place without debt and actually save some money for the future. Now God begins stirring something in me that makes me think He might be calling us back into the ministry at some time.
This church wants me to take some leadership roles and we have been asked by three staff members to submit my resume. When I started this job, my prayer was that I not get to a place where I was so comortable financially that I would be scared to re-enter the "ministry". Well, we're definitely not comfortable, we're a little behind on the mortgage, can't afford a car I need and my house in Alabama hasn't sold and the tenant is now gone so I have double mortgage to pay. But, it's on the horizon. As soon as the house sells I can pay off debt and with a couple of paychecks be on top for the first time in our lives. Now, I'm the first to say that money isn't everything, but I also believe God wants to bless His people financially, not so we can get more stuff but so we can be more effective blessing other people.
If he calls me back into the ministry am I going to always be behind financially? Last night at church the message was regarding the deceptiveness of wealth. Again, not that money is bad, but we always think if we have enough our lives will be satisfied and that's never the case. Bill Gates, who has earned 50 BILLION dollars began giving it all away in 1998 because he said it wouldn't be good for his kids to inherit it. The only thing that satisfies is being in the center of His will in your life and feeling Him smile at you.
Charis and I were talking about this, and she made the comment that if the salary of being on staff would be equivalent to what my pay is now, that it's a no brainer, we would be in the ministry. But that would be an easy decision and one thing I know about God is that He likes to form character in my life by giving me difficult decisions. So, would I be willing to step back into the ministry if it would be a drastic pay cut. What if I can't imagine how the bills would be paid? We own a house now and the cost of living up here is pretty drastic. What if it doesn't work on paper and God asks us to do it. Is our faith strong enough to obey?
Maybe God will let us sell our house, pay off all our debt and receive a high paying ministry position. Maybe we've learned a long painful lesson regarding the purpose of finances and he can trust us with that. Maybe I get paid well to have my dream ministry position of travelling to be a missionary to missionaries and helping people in the local church find their true ministry passion. But what if that time isn't here? Pray that I can hear Him clearly and respond to Him appropriately.
I don't feel like now is the time to make a change, but I definitely feel God asking me to examine my heart and determine if I can trust Him if He did make that call.

September 17, 2006

Sunday, September 17, 2006
He says it quite well
This is a response to my blog from a member of one of my groups. While I don't promote and governmental commentary, he does make a few good points.

You're confusing those who claim to be Christians with genuine Christians. The people in the U.S. who make the biggest noise about being Christians, and all their Christian values and so on are some of the least Christian people I've ever met. I've only been a Christian for a few years, having been agnostic most of my 50 years. I'd look at the people around me who called themselves "Christians", and think, "what in the world would I want to be like that for?" But Christ does not call us to be like that people who loudly proclaim themselves to be Christians, he calls us to be like him. The Religious Right, who call themselves Christians, bear no resemblance to Christ that I can see, therefore I don't see how we can call them Christians.Not that I'm that great a Christian, either. Being like Christ is a pretty hard thing to do, and none of us do a very good job of it....

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. - Mohandas GandhiThe problem with Christianity is not that it has been tried and found wanting, but that it has been found difficult, and left untried. - G.K. ChestertonChristendom has done away with Christianity without being quite aware of it. - Soren Kierkegaard*** I'm not a Christian but desire to love God and ALL people with every fiber of my being. ***That sounds pretty Christian to me.Jim

Old blog from Sept 03, 2006--Christian hater

So, there are some blogs that I posted a few years ago that I wanted to paste into my current blog in order to have a good record of thoughts I had and things I went through. This particular blog was very much posted in a time when I was really tired of the behavior of most American Christians.

The process God took me through was interesting. First, he was patient with me and let me have my bad attitude. He then gently steared me back to the understanding that everything I saw in "those Christians" were the very things about me that God was sickened by.

I'm also going to post the comments that were given back when I first posted this blog. There was some good dialog from many of my friends.

Sunday, September 03, 2006
Am I a Christian?
I realize that I used to be a really good Christian...was really good at being judgemental, thinking I had to be sure that everyone around me followed the rules that I believed were the way a Christian should act. Couldn't accept anyone that didn't "look" or "talk" like a Christian. I've come to realize that I don't really like Christians very much. That's not a real fair thing to say..it's not that I don't like them, I just have a hard time stomaching them. Christianity has become such a religion, a subculture, a weird civilization that is so concerned with not being "tainted" by the world that it has forgotten that it is called to love the world. When people ask me if I am a Christian, I have to tell them no. That I am really in love with God, but not so keen about his people. One of the Great Commandments is that we not take the Lord's name in vain. What that means is that we not misrepresent God's character, and we have all done a pretty good job of misrepresentation. I love God and want to look more like him, and I think I have looked more like him when I'm sitting in a bar with a group of friends playing basketball and we end up talking about God, or about how I'm in love with my wife and have no desire to cheat on her. I think I look more like him when people say "wow, when I'm around you I don't feel uncomfortable, like I have to quit cussing or pray before my meals." They wouldn't feel uncomfortable around Jesus would they? He is the ultimate in loving people and accepting them BEFORE they change. Remember Nicodemus? Jesus said "hey lets hang out" THEN Nicodemus decided to change the way he acted and looked. I don't know, it's a bit of a soap box I guess, I just think Christians have done a superb job of making Jesus look undesirable. I'm not a Christian, but I love God with all of my heart. Isn't that one of only two things he's asked us to do? Love me with all your heart soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself? Christians are some of the most un-neighborly people I know. It's kind of like looking at a married couple where the husband is the perfect husband. Loves his wife, goes out of his way for her, always puts her first, sacrifices his life to make hers the best it can possibly be. And the wife disregards it, ignores him, takes his love for granted and gives the impression that he mistreats her. I love God an awful lot, but his bride disgusts me and I hope she can learn to appreciate the good man she has. It's like Mick says to Rocky in Rocky III, "But then the worst thing happened that could happen to any fighter, you got civilized" The church has become so concerned with being accepted that it has become civilized and because of it, has become rejected. So... I'm not a Christian but desire to love God and ALL people with every fiber of my being.

Oct 4th

Well....this was my 34th birthday weekend and therefore the first time I've cheated on my nutrition since starting this challenge.


Saturday, my birthday, I had 2 sausage patties and 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast.

I then had to work until about 1:30 but then had some yummy grilled chicken for lunch.

I then met up with friends and family at Joe's Crab Shack in Gurnee. My dinner was actually not a problem, I had broiled tilapia, shrimp and crab meat. I did sneak one of my wife's hushpuppies though.

I wasn't planning to have dessert, but my mother had a huge surprise for me. See, when I was in college I would occassionally work for a family friend who was a wedding planner/caterer. I always loved the chocolate on chocolate cake she would make for the groom's cake. So, at our wedding I of course requested this cake. In the busyness of our reception, I didn't get any of the cake and my sister in law took the leftovers home with her so I never got any and have jokingly whined and complained about it for 13 years now. Well...my mother looked up this old family friend on facebook. She still lives in Birmingham. My mother got the recipe sent to her and made for me the chocolate on chocolate grooms cake for my birthday. So, you see, I just had to have some.

I only had one piece and we ended up giving the leftovers to our wait staff because we all knew if we took it home we would eat it.

So, that was my Saturday cheat.

Sunday:

I took my oldest son to breakfast for some one on one time and had a sausage omelet that of course had cheese in it.

Then, at church I took one bite of birthday cake, but for dinner I had a quesadilla complete with flour fajita.

So, back on the wagon for me. Will weigh tomorrow and see how the progress is coming.

I will say, I am beginning to get compliments from a lot of people so that's rewarding.

Thanks to the crossforters for being supportive and pushing me to finish the WOD's when I'm perfectly content to quit. :-)

Sept. 30

Ok, yesterday was eggs with corned beef hash. Can't do that again, the hash has potatos in it so the leftover can went to the dogs.

Lunch was a small cob salad that didn't hold me over until I got home so I grabbed a couple beef skewers at Dominicks on the way home.

Dinner: Culvers where I had a Bunless Burger and 1 french fry. Should have resisted the one fry on principal alone but alas...it was good.

Today

Breakfast: 3 strips bacon and 2 scrambled eggs

Lunch: Delish steak I grilled this morning before leaving for work

Dinner: Steak/bacon chili been cooking in the crockpot all day....looking forward to that one.

Monday I worked out at the Fort and we did Isabel. I finished the fastest but I can't claim to have had the heaviest weight, nor the prescribed weight. Rob the Bruce did it with 50k and I finished with 40k.

Tuesday I went for another run on my "couch to 5k" program. This consisted of a 5 min. warm up walk, some stretches then a 5 min. run/3 min. walk/8 min. run/3 min. walk/5 min. run.

All in, according to walkjogrun.net I covered 2.31 miles.

Today is a rest day as I am working late. Will be at the Fort on Thursday and Friday at the 5:00 class.

Sept. 28th

Ok...not sure how it happened but the scale says I dropped a few more pounds. I am apparently at 25 lbs. lost since early June which would put it at roughly 15 lbs. lost since beginning the 60 day body challenge.

My clothes are fitting looser, I've run out of notches on my belt but I'm waiting to tailor my clothes as I intend to lose a good bit more. I've had a few comments from co-workers and clients alike that I look like I've lost weight so that's always rewarding.

Going to my first "non ramp up" crossfit tonight...hope I don't die.

Diet.

Yesterday:

Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs and orange juice

Lunch: 6 oz. filet mignon

Dinner: meatballs with tomato sauce and salad. (It was another temptation conquered as it was "Italian dinner night" at church. I was able to resist although I did notice another crossfitter eat some cake ahem ahem....not naming names.

Today:

Breakfast: 3 slices bacon and 2 scrambled eggs with orange juice

Lunch: roasted pork tenderloin

Dinner: will be baked pork chops in tomato sauce and sauteed veggies (wow, that's a lot of pig in one day....I imagine I should tone that one down a bit?)

I brought grapes and mixed nuts for a snack although I've really not been hungry between meals. Will probably eat some nuts on the way to crossfit.

Next blog I'll share a little about my experience in Canada.

Sept 26th

My apologies to all my facebook friends. This blog automatically posts there and I'm not sure how to select which ones should import and which ones shouldn't.

On my 60 day Body Challenge I think I'm doing relatively well other than a lack of workouts last week due to work schedule. I've lost 11 lbs. since beginning. The question I have (you crossfitters can help with this) , I have a handle on the allowable foods (at least I think I do), I just am not sure how much I should be eating. I'm going to explore DAILYPLATE.COM tonight and I think it will tell me calorie intake as well as nutritional values in my foods I'm eating. But I don't know how many calories I should be taking in nor do I know the nutritional guidelines...i.e. grams of protein, carbs, fiber etc. What's a good rule of thumb?

Today was:

Breakfast: a few pieces of smoked sausage and two scrambled eggs with orange juice (not from concentrate)

Lunch: Bacon burger without the bun and a small caesar salad

Dinner: (skipped the free pizza my sis in law bought as a thank you for helping her move) and went home and had about 10 oz. of smoked sausage with sauteed yellow bell pepper.

Hope I'm on track?!

I DID IT!!!

So, I'm 21 lbs. lost now so I can give myself that new tattoo. I'll wait until I'm in Alabama in November so I can get the same guy to do it that did my first. Just have to keep it off until then but I believe that won't be a problem as I'm intending to continue getting in shape.

I've done surprisingly well at switching my diet to the "paleo diet" Basically, no grains, no sugar, no dairy, no legumes and no soy. That means I can have meat, vegetables, and some fruit as well as nuts. I like all of that and it gives me a good excuse to grab a steak for lunch. In the last two weeks, the only time I've really ever deviated was one night I had a meatball sandwich and last night I had two soft tacos. Otherwise I've been able to stay on track.

I have only been to crossfit once since I got back from Canada. I've finished my ramp up. I have set aside the money to pay for October at crossfit, I just had a really busy week at work after being on vacation, so the plan is to get at least three days a week at crossfit. My goal is, on the days I'm not at crossfit, to continue my "couch to 5k" training.

Today's workout for couch to 5k was to run for 20 minutes without walking. Gotta be honest, when I saw this workout a few weeks ago, I thought...."aint gonna happen". But guess what. I ran for 20 minutes without stopping to rest today. Pretty proud of myself. walkjogrun.net tells me that I ran 1.75 miles so I know that all you runners out there could smoke my time, but finishing without dying was an accomplishment.

Hopefully, after halloween, I can post my after pics and redeem myself for making your eyeballs bleed when you looked at the before pictures a few posts ago.

Last week in Canada--more weight loss

Went to Algonquin Provincial Park in Ontario, Canada all last week. Left Chicago Friday evening and were in the park by noon Saturday. We figured to have covered 60-70 miles over the week. Ok, crossfitters.....I think I got my rowing in this week as we were in the canoes from 9 am until about 4 pm every day. When we weren't rowing in the canoes we were hiking with our heavy packs and a canoe on our shoulders up and down the trails through very rough terrain.

The only unfortunate thing is that I couldn't control diet and there were a lot of grains on the trip. Once we left civilization I spent the next day and a half easing back into Paleo diet but am full swing in again.

I lost 4.6 lbs. on the trip and am looking forward to getting back in the swing of things at crossfit.

Pics to follow once I get my computer to cooperate.

Remove all children from the room!

Ok...so they are in...the pics are here. My before pics for the 60 day Body Challenge I'm doing. I'm posting the picture late in the post so innocent children don't accidentally see the nightmare.

First...update. Today was eggs and sausage for breakfast and steak and broccoli for lunch. No dinner yet. Leaving in about 20 minutes to go meet the rest of the guys for our trip to Canada. Going hiking and canoeing in the Algonquin Provincial Park near Huntsville, Ontario, Canada. Looking forward to it, will be gone until late next Saturday. I won't be "officially" working out this week but certainly hope that canoeing will replace Crossfit rowing and long hikes with a backpack and canoe will suffice for box jumps dead lifts and squats. We shall see, my goal is to lose 5 lbs. this week. Not sure what we will be eating daily but I'm packing beef jerky and mixed nuts for my daily snacks. If I lose 5 lbs. this week I will be 1 lb. away from my tattoo weight. I gave myself the incentive back in June that if I lose 20 lbs. I will justify the expense of a new tattoo. In the pic you will see on my left shoulder my tattoo of the Goodson family crest. What I would like to do is just beneath that, create a band with all three of my children's handprints.

Anyway...that's the scoop. Are you ready? Brace yourself.....remove the children

In fact, you may want to cover your eyes and peak between your fingers....I promise, it'll be like a train wreck...you'll look away and then make a weird face and look at the pic again.

No blog updates this week from the wilderness, but beginning again on the 21st....check in for regular progress and check in on me and cheer me on.

another day

I'm finding that eating right really requires planning ahead.

I had my 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties for breakfast

smoked grilled sausage, baked chicken leg, grilled chicken breast, baked fish filet and green beans for lunch (wow...looks like a lot when you write it down huh?)

dinner, didn't plan ahead and ran out of time with packing for the Canada trip so I had 2 burritos and a soft taco from taco bell.


Hmmmm.....that doesn't look so great huh. No workout today either as I've been packing for the trip. Will be hiking and canoeing all week so my goal is to lose 5 lbs. this week. Am packing beef jerky and mixed nuts for snacking during the day on the trip.

Weigh Down

So, yesterday I think I stayed on track pretty well.

Breakfast--sausage and eggs
snack--grapes
lunch--small filet and spinach salad
snack--nuts/seeds
dinner--2 hamburger patties

At crossfit we worked on technique for pull-ups and handstand push-ups. Then we did 500m rowing warm up followed by three sets of:

200m run
12 kettle bell swings
6 body rows

Today on the scale I am down to 253 lbs. Grand total of 14 lbs. Only need 6 more before I can get that new tattoo!

balance

Balance is hard for me...it's hard to balance everything. Family time, quality family time that is. Work, exercise, diet.

Today is a non-workout day for me. My ramp up session is tomorrow but I didn't really have time to run today. I worked until 6:00, came home and had dinner with the family around the table for some nice face to face time, now putting the kids in bed and it's already 8:30.

Then I'm gonna snuggle on the couch with Reese for a little bit of quality time with my wife. I'm not willing to give up family time, I can't afford to give up work time, so exercise time gets pushed to the side. I should have gone for a twenty minute run today for the last of my week 5 "couch to 5k" workouts but it aint gonna happen.

I also need to learn balance in my diet. Not sure if I'm eating too much or not enough. Any fellow crossfitters wanna fill me in?

I had two fried eggs and two small sausage patties for breakfast.

12 grapes for a snack

6 oz. filet mignon and a spinach salad for lunch

1/4 sandwich size ziploc of mixed nuts/seeds for a snack

(broke down and got a taco bell beef burrito cause I was hungry)

then for dinner had about 4-6 oz. roasted pork tenderloin and about 2 cups broccoli.

My only breakdown came late afternoon on the way home and I was hungry and couldn't seem to will myself to wait until I got home and grabbed a burrito.

I need enough protein to fuel the body change, but not too much to make it slow going, and not too little to make me prone to eat too much of the wrong things.

Guess I'll keep on working and spending time with my family, keep hitting crossfit at least 3 times a week and try to get in as many runs as I can while I keep tweaking the eating.

Post Labor Day

Ok...first potential roadblock on my body transformation journey has come and gone. Labor Day and at least three parties that I can remember.

It all began with our 10th annual Harding Street block party. I was able to avoid grains completely eating my brat and burger without the bun and enjoying the spinach strawberry salad that I took. I did consume a bit of wheat with the few beers I had and I couldn't avoid sugar altogether as I had two brownies.

Sunday morning we had a breakfast party at our house which had plenty of protein only but I did give in and have some breakfast pie. Great eggs and sausage, but with cheese in a pie crust as well and I must admit I had a half of the cinnamon apple french toast that I made for the party.

Fast Forward to my parents house last evening and I did quite well avoiding the grains, didn't have any. Probably had too much protein though as I had a small pork chop, a burger patty and hot dog all bunless. Oops...I did have some corn on the cob, but only 1/4 of the cob and I did give in and have some peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

I forgot to weigh before breakfast, but after breakfast the scale says I gained 1.1 lbs. Back on track, had egg and sausage for breakfast and have already grilled my filet for lunch along with my spinach salad and packed nuts and grapes for snacks during the day. Charis will be roasting a pork tenderloin with veggies for dinner. I'm working late so probably won't get in a workout but back to Crossfit tomorrow.

New adventure

So...any of you that read my "Manhood Plan" knows that I'm interested in making lasting changes in my life. That plan outlined ways that I want to be the father and husband I'm intended by God to be. It included spiritual, emotional, discipline, financial.....and physical. See, I want to be around for my great grandchildren. And, I would like to be active and able to have fun with them, maybe even still be able to play with them. One of the goals I have is...

-I will continue striving to maintain healthy diet and proper exercise in order to maintain my health and longevity allowing me to serve my family into my great grandchildren's generation.

Well...half-hearted attempts have been made to this end. I've eaten "ok" sporadically but not with any continuity. Recently I decided to follow the couch to 5k training program. Just today I completed run two of week 5 which consisted of an 8 minute run, 5 minute cool off walk followed by another 8 minute run. I was able to do this in a rather hilly (by hilly I mean uphill...both ways) and completed 1.65 miles. My next run is supposed to be 20 minutes running with no walking. Ouch...we'll see how that goes.

But, more importantly, I have recently been subjecting myself to a strangely satisfying torure called crossfit fire. I must get in shape and stay that way.

Before I joined crossfit I set a goal to lose 20 lbs. with the reward of a new tattoo. I lost 10 lbs. pretty quickly then hit a wall with my own efforts. I started at 267 lbs. and dropped to 257 over a month or more. I have been through one week of Cross Fit and dropped another 2 lbs. to leave me sitting at 255 lbs.

I have joined the cross fit Better Body Challenge. As soon as I'm able too I'll download my "before" picture so you can all get a good giggle. I'll be posting my progress along the way so you can keep up with it and send me some encouragement every now and then.

Nashty smells made good

I was reading Romans last week and in the first chapter there is a list of all the awful things people were doing. It's a long list

I have often looked at this from an "inside looking out" viewpoint. I'm on the inside looking at all the awful things Godless people do. As God often does...he changed my viewpoint. See, the text says...

"FOR ALTHOUGH THEY KNEW GOD, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened..." It then goes on to list all of the awful things people were doing.

It's still a long list.

What struck me is that these were people who KNEW GOD. They knew him...they just failed to glorify him and failed to give him thanks. And the lack of these two actions/attitudes led them to a place of futile thinking and darkened hearts. The long list of atrocities are things that I don't want to have anything to do with...but they are as close to me as my failure to glorify and give thanks.

The irony here is that these things lead to death...but the only way to avoid them is to die.

Assuming that the failure is the lack of glorifying and thanking, the question is how do we glorify and give thanks? Thanks giving is fairly understandable...but how do we bring glorifying God into our everyday life?

It actually has a lot to do with death.

My good friend Alex preached tonight from John 11 and the death of Lazarus. He pointed out that after Jesus was informed that Lazarus was sick...he stayed where he was for two more days allowing Lazarus to die. Alex talked about the disappointment that was evident in Martha and Mary's reaction when they saw Jesus. They both in frustration and anguish said "If you had been here my brother would not have died"

Alex pointed out that we all have had deep disappointments in God when he didn't show up in a situation when we wanted him to. He asked for specific examples among the congregation. We heard things like I prayed for my marriage to be restored and it wasn't....My mother has battled sickness for 13 years....My nephew died after 42 days of life....my friends haven't come to know Christ. Why doesn't he show up sometimes?

Could it be that he wants us to die? It certainly appears so. He told the disciples that this situation was "for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it." Aren't we told that if we are to share in Christ's glory we must also share in his suffering? Aren't we told that to live is Christ and to die is gain?

Lazarus died so Jesus could bring him back to life...thus being glorified.

We need to glorify God to avoid the darkening of our hearts which leads to atrocities in our life.

We need to die to glorify God.

We must die daily.

I feel like the last year and a half for my family has been deadly. Many of our plans died. Much of our stuff died. Our pride definitely died. We have been through a dying process.

But I have decided that if this death serves to glorify God...and keep me close to his heart so my own isn't darkened...then I can stand to stay in the grave for four days before he calls me out.

I bet Lazarus was glad that even though he was in the grave, perhaps in purgatory for four days, rotting and decaying and smelling horrible....he was probably forever grateful that his circumstance brought glory to God and that his NASHTY SMELLS WERE MADE GOOD.

How Michael Jackson inspired me to talk to God

I suppose everyone is reacting to the death of Michael Jackson in different ways. Some are saddened, some are irreverant in their jokes, others are upset that his death upstaged Farah Fawcett's passing, others aren't affected in any way whatsoever.

I must admit, while I respect his musical genius and incredible dance moves that I desparately wanted to imitate as a kid, (I secretly believe I never mastered the moonwalk because my family couldn't afford the smokin' awesome red parachute pants) I have been in the latter group. The one that is largely unaffected. Until this morning that is.

See, the last couple of days I've been dealing with a frustration at work. There are two areas that I'm responsible for. One of those areas is excelling, beating expectations. The other area is struggling. So much so that my boss has been having some serious conversations with me about how to fix it SOON or there could be consequences. Now when it's all said and done..the "consequences" aren't that grave, they would probably serve to benefit me, but it's a frustration that things aren't going as I would like them to.

I had to admit to my boss that I have probably taken the stance that I often take in my personal life. That is, to not spend a lot of effort getting better at weaknesses, but focus my energy on my strengths as that is where I will find success. The glaringly obvious problem with this is that we never improve our weaknesses.

Well, back to Michael Jackson. As was to be expected radio stations were filling the airwaves with his tunes. The one that struck me was his hit song, "Man In The Mirror" Some of the lyrics include:

I've been the victim of a selfish kind of love

That's why I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm askin him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make a change

See, this struck me so much that I turned off the radio and began to talk to God. I had been trying to figure out how to motivate the people around me to get better at the areas at work I'm responsible for. God reminded me of a book a family friend, Tom Mullins, wrote. The book is called The King's Heart and is based on the verse in Proverbs 21:1 which says "the king's heart is in the hand of the Lord" and God uses these King's, authority figures, to guide us in his favor. He challenges the reader to take cues from our earthly authority figures to better understand how our relationship with The King is doing.

When Michael Jackson told me to look at the man in the mirror I realized that my troubles at work are a reflection of an area in my life that is displeasing to God. When I asked Him to show me, He showed me that I'm not placing proper emphasis on spending time with Him and in His Word. And that as a result, I'm categorizing my life. There is work, there is family and there is spiritual. He wants me to merge all of these together and give my all at work and with my family as a way to honor him.

I was in a meeting where the Hall of Fame and all time Chicago Bears leading tackler, Mike Singletary, was speaking. He was also encouraging the men in the room to step it up and be the men we are called to be in our heart, our family and our workplace.

I have always said that when we work, we aren't working for our boss or our company but for God. When we have this mentality, we will do our best to honor him. At least we should do our best. I realized today as I looked at the man in the rearview mirror that I have been guilty of not working for God. I have been looking around me at my difficulties rather than working hard. My job has an unlimited upside potential for income. I'm not hindered by a salary, I can make as much money as I am able to make. I haven't been excelling which means I've only been working for me, to pay my bills and put a little in savings for a rainy day. I'm not working for those reasons. The long term goal of my career is to have my family taken care of in a way that I can respond to ANYTHING God wants me to do without financial reasons holding me back. But, I haven't been working with the kind of fervor necessary to do this.

So...long story short, God is the ultimate glass cleaner that makes the mirror crystal clear so we can truly see the Man In The Mirror if we dare to take The King of Pop's advice and allow the King of Kings to show us what He wants us to deal with.

Do you dare look in the mirror?

Ponderings on the Church and the Rock it was built upon

When Peter made his declaration that He belived Jesus was the Son of God...Jesus named him Peter (rock) and said "on this rock I will build my church"

Why Peter?

Dude did stupid stuff all the time. Said the wrong things, tried to stop Jesus from his destiny, messed up so bad on one occassion that Jesus called him Satan. Tried to kill a Roman Soldier....even messed that up and only cut his ear off. Denied Jesus three times the evening he was arrested. Messed up the walking on water thing. He is well known for always putting his foot in his mouth. Why would Jesus choose him?

Tonight at fusion church my friend Mark preached on the miracle of Jesus walking on water. He made a great point about that miracle. You see...I never really saw the point of that miracle...but Jesus never did, and never does, anything randomly or without purpose. Mark pointed out that Jesus sent the disciples on ahead of him and told him he would meet them in the town across the lake. Then in the middle of the lake, a huge storm came up...to the point that all 12 of the men in the boat were terrified and were sure they were going to sink. Add to this...they see a figure coming towards them walking on top of the water and they all thought it was a ghost.

You see...in the ancient world....water, specifically large bodies of it...created great fear among people. It was the great unknown...there were no scientific expedition submarines to explore the mysteries of the deep. They were a mystery...and a terrifying one at that. Tales of great sea monsters...like the leviathin in the book of Job were enough to keep even the bravest fisherman close to shore.

The interesting thing is...the point of the miracle...was to show these guys that Jesus had total dominion and authority over their greatest fears. That compared to Him...their fears were a literal walk in the park (or the pond as the case may be) He showed up literally walking on top of their fears.

Then, Peter says, "if it's really you, tell me to come join you"

Side note...I don't think Peter was very smart. I mean...if Jesus HAD been a flesh eating beast from the depths trying to trick them...and Peter said that...wouldn't the beast have just said "uh, Peter, get out of the boat"..I don't know..doesn't seem like the greatest truth gathering strategy to me.

Anyway...Jesus says get out of the boat.....and I'll be danged if Peter didn't do it. Got out of the boat to get into the thing that he was most scared of!!! I think that is why Jesus wanted to build his church on that rock. Cause it takes ACTION!!! Perhaps as a modern church...we should look back and take a lesson from Peter. Jesus wants action...doesn't want us sitting in the boat scared of what' s gonna happen...He wants us to get out there with him. I can relate to Peter....he was the only one of the 12 that was inspired to step it up and pursue greatness. But...just the way I do....He panicked and couldn't sustain.

Sure is encouraging that Jesus still wanted to establish His church on this rock.

The great ending to the story is that after Jesus' crucifixion...Peter and the disciples went back to what they knew....fishing. When Jesus rose from the tomb he went out to the shore. From the boat Peter immediately recognized Jesus (didn't need reassurance this time) and that sucker jumped off the boat just like Forest Gump when he saw Lieutenant Dan on the pier. He knew he could walk on water if he kept his eyes on Jesus.

Problem was he didn't walk on water. He sank.

He had the same inspired leap of faith....then he encountered the same "failure" as before. Only this time he didn't get back in the boat....he just swam to Jesus. He realized it didn't matter what his approach looked like, as long as he was moving towards Jesus. Maybe we need to swim thru resistance and perceived failure and remember that our goal is to move towards Jesus at all costs.

Sounds like the actions of a rock worth building a church on.

Joshua Q's with no real A's

Just a few rapid fire questions from Chapter Two of the Book of Joshua. Random thoughts, let me know what you think the answers are for my questions and wonderings.

-Why did Joshua "secretly" send the spies. I mean...the very nature of a spy is secrecy, so why did he have to secretly send the spies who are suppossed to be secret anyhow? Who was he keeping the secret from? Was there spies amongst the Israelites? Just seems redundant....secretly sending spies.

-Verse 2 = maybe this is why he was trying to keep it a secret....turns out the spies weren't very good at secrecy

- Why had the prostitute already hidden the spies when the authorities came to the door? What made her feel compelled to hide them before the perception of danger?

- Verse 10 and 11 says they had heard of what God had done and they were in fear....this one will make sense in a moment

- Verse 12....She wanted a sure sign that she would be spared. Think the demand of a contract was just the nature of her business?

- Verse 14....If God had already promised to give them the land...what was the purpose of all the secrecy in the first place?

- Does the scarlet chord tied on the window seem slightly reminiscent of another moment folks were spared by something red on their door frame?

- Verse 22...Maybe it's because Easter is still so fresh on my mind...but do you think there is any significance to the fact that the spied hid for 3 nights in the woods before returning to their home?

- Verse 24...Remember verse 10 and 11? The people were scared because they had heard what God had done....why are they now taking credit?


What do you think...Got any answers to my random questions?

Oh The Plans of Men and Their Feet

Ever have really good ideas but don't run with them? Ever have really bad ideas and run too far with them? I think that LeBron James was absolutely accurate when on 60 minutes he said "You can't be afraid to fail, you have to take the next shot"

I also believe that often we spend too much time and energy trying to make something successful that was never meant to be succesful.

Joshua 1:3 is an oft quoted text. "I will give you every place where you set your foot" Sounds inspiring...gives us courage and a backbone to step out in faith and conquer the enemy....throw a rock at goliath, march around a city, face the giants etc.

Ever get that courage...step out...and get your butt handed to you and run back to God and holler "BUT YOU SAID YOU WOULD GIVE ME EVERY PLACE WHERE I SET MY FOOT!!"

Hmm....contextual reading sure is important. Verse 1-2 actually tell Josuah where to go...and verse 4 actually spells out the boundaries. "from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river Euphrates, to the Great Sea on the West" God actually said....here is where you are to put your feet....and by the way...I will give you every place where you set your feet.

Our problem is, we often fail to listen to the guidelines, the instructions on where to place our feet. We run off, stomp the ground...do a magic dance, click our heels together and instruct those around us that it's gonna work cause it's where we planted our feet. Meanwhile...God is looking for someone who can hear his voice and understand where He wants you to plant your feet so he can give it to you.

We gotta slow down and listen sometimes and maybe failure won't be such a frequent visitor.

Whatcha think?

A shooting in first grade!!!! Really???

So, my 1st grader was assigned to do a project that involved heroes, celebration, flag and landmarks. So my wife (oops, I mean Josiah) did a great shadow box with a firework celebration, the statue of liberty and a group of American soldiers guarding an American Flag (from a pirate no less...only because we dont have a toy plastic Bin Laden).

Well....here's where the fun begins. Josiah came home with his toy soldiers in
a ziploc bag.

So...I called the teacher to inquire....because inquiring minds want to know. What follows is a transcript of the conversation, complete with my unspoken thoughts in italics.

ME: "This is Josiah's father. His toy soldiers came home in a ziploc bag today, I was just wondering if there were any problems?"

TEACHER: "Yeah...by the way, Josiah did a great job on his project"

MY BRAIN: kudos honey, you did a great job on that 1st grade project

TEACHER: "he displayed it to the whole class and I was very proud of him"

MY SARCASTIC BRAIN: okay lady, cut the crap and let's get to the ridiculous answer I know is coming

TEACHER: "We sent the soldiers home because...well, they have guns"

VERY SARCASTIC BRAIN: REALLY?! THE SOLDIERS DEFENDING OUR FREEDOM ACTUALLY HAD GUNS!!!! OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE SUCH A COLOSSAL MISTAKE TO SEND SOMETHING TRUTHFUL TO SCHOOL!! Really?? that's a national security issue that the 1/2 inch plastic soldiers are carrying 1 cm, plastic, bent guns? I should have made sure to break the guns off and send them to school carrying snowballs CAUSE THAT'S HOW OUR SOLDIERS DEFENDED THE FLAG AT IWO FREAKIN JIMA!!!

ME: "Well, they are American Soldiers (repeat the rant from above) and I'm concerned about the message we send Josiah when mom and dad are teaching him that our soldiers are heroes and they are the reason we have a freedom to protect in the first place....yet those soldiers aren't able to make an appearance at school"

TEACHER: "I understand, we are just worried that at this age, the boys especially...

REALLY IRRITATED BRAIN: BECAUSE ALL BOYS ARE CREATED EVIL AND STUPID?

TEACHER: ....won't be able to differntiate between real and make believe."

SARCASTIC MASCULINE BRAIN: Wow lady, you grew up without any brothers didn't you?

RATIONAL ME: "I understand and appreciate the fine line you have to walk at the school and I'm not really upset, I just believe this was handled in an overly sensitive manner and want my concern to be duly noted"

TEACHER: "I understand what you're saying, and I wouldn't ever try to tell a person what they should allow in their home...

MY "WATCH OUT YOU MIGHT CROSS THE LINE HERE" BRAIN: YOU ARE *@#* RIGHT YOU WON'T!!

TEACHER: but at school we really can't allow guns.

BRAIN: Even tiny plastic ones held by tiny plastic solders?

TEACHER: In fact, I've had some problems with some of the boys in the class not being able to differentiate between real and make believe this year when it comes to guns"

RESTRAINED BRAIN SLIPPING INTO SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE SETH MEYERS BRAIN:

REALLY????????? THERE HAS BEEN A SHOOTING IN THE FIRST GRADE CLASS THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT?Really???You mean to tell me a kid brought a 9 mm to school and shot one of the other kids because he couldn't differentiate between real and make believe???!!! Really??? How did I not hear about this? I would think Josiah would have come home and said "dad, you won't believe what happened today!" Really??? How did it not make the news, what kind of cover up is this? I would have pulled my kid out of school for counseling if I'd have known about it. No note home from the teacher or anything? Really???

I mean really....I grew up playing American vs. Russian, cops vs. robbers, cowboys and indians and just plain old shoot each other with anything you can find, including a chicken nugget bitten into the shape of a gun for heavens sake. I can assure you, when I met my first Russian friend...I didn't shoot him!! I never became a vigilante and hunted bad guys, I never shot an Indian and real bullets never came out of my chicken nuggets!!!!

Really???!!!! we're worried kids are stupid enough to shoot each other for real cause they don't know the difference? Heck, we even had bb gun wars as a kid and we knew that they would hurt but not kill. I even made my little brothers stand still and let me shoot them in the butt with the bb guns, but Really!!! I never pulled the 12 gauge down not knowing the difference between reality and make believe and shot either of them in the butt!!!

Really?? my kid can't take a small toy soldier to school? This is insane!

RATIONAL HEATH: "Well, thank you for your time, I still think it was handled in an overly sensitive manner. Have a nice day"

REALLY??

What's in a Name

My name is mentioned in the Bible only twice, in Jeremiah 17 and 48 and it is referenced as a curse. However, it is one of only a few plants with the ability to produce fruit, or to bloom a flower in desert conditions...so it's actually a pretty cool meaning and I'm proud of it and grateful that God sees me that way.

Charis' name means God's Grace and she is full of it. (grace that is)

Karston's name comes from the root Christos which means anointed and was a name given to Christ, it then came to be translated Christian and finally Karston.

Josiah was the youngest and most righteous King in Israel.

Alyssa's name comes from the French form of the Germanic name Adelheidis which is composed of the elements "noble" and "kind". It then progressed to Adelaide, then Alice then Alicia before becoming Alyssa.

I think meanings of names have great significance.

In my Men's Fraternity meeting this morning (highly recommended men's study that can be found here) we discussed Adam's shortcomings in the Fall in the Garden. In Genesis 3:16 Adam names his wife "Eve" Prior to this she was referred to as "woman" While Eve means mother of all the living, it is often synonomous with seductress, or temptress. She really gets the bad rap here. The reality is....in this account of the temptation by the serpent, there isn't much mention of Adam until it says that Eve gave the fruit to Adam "who was with her". Adam wasn't off "at work while she sat at home watching soap operas and twiddling her thumbs with idle time" He WAS RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE STINKIN' TIME!!The problem here is that Adam abdicated his responsibility to REJECT PASSIVITY, TAKE RESPONSIBILTIY, LEAD COURAGEOUSLY, AND EXPECT A HIGHER REWARD. He became the epitome of passivity and apparently stood by and watched his wife be seduced into something he knew was forbidden. You can almost here inside his thoughts...."Let's see what happens here...if she dies...I bet God will make me another one. If she doesn't, then I can taste it too" Sickening.



Now Eve becomes the "bad guy" thru the ages when it was actually Adam's fault for not stepping between them like a man and shielding his wife from this danger. So...while Adam did name Eve, meaning mother of all the living, he also allowed her reputation to be tarnished, therefore he gave her the name of temptress and seductress thru his passivity.



Dad's and husbands. What are you naming your children and spouses? Are you naming them insecure? Are you naming them inadequate? Are you naming them lazy or undeserving? Or are you naming them Graceful, Anointed, Righteous, Noble and Kind allowing them to be able to flourish in any environment, even a dry desert?

Selah

The evidence of God's favor

We must learn to regard people less in light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I heard Bonhoeffer quoted on the radio today and have not been able to verify the quote, but it was to the effect of We must learn to rightly relate to suffering....suffering is not a curse, it is the evidence of God's loving favor upon a life.

Doesn't make sense. Or does it....it is, as mentioned in my previous vampire post, that it is promised for those that follow Christ. I understand sacrifice...I understand that Christ sacrificed for us and that we are called to sacrifice all for him. I mean, heck, we even had an entire Youth Summer Camp dedicated to the theme SACRIFICE '90! But...it turns out that to obey is better than sacrifice. What gives?

Romans 1:5 says that obedience comes thru faith. Interesting that Paul discusses bringing people to OBEDIENCE. OBEDIENCE seems to always require SACRIFICE. Either of time, will, desires, posessions, etc. OBEDIENCE to the gospel is OBEDIENCE to lay it all down, to SACRIFICE your way for his way, your life for his. It requires the SACRIFICE of your life...you are to share in the suffering and death of Christ. Seems like Paul should be calling people to SACRIFICE. Didn't the rich young ruler have to SACRIFICE his stuff?

But Paul specifies OBEDIENCE. Didn't the Old Testament (I Sam 15:22) teach us that to OBEY is better than SACRIFICE?

The OBEDIENCE part is difficult. SACRIFICE feels easy because we can measure it. We are able to accomplish it, it is immediately apparent and we can often pat ourselves on the back for "suffering for Jesus".

True OBEDIENCE tells you what, when, where how and how much to share in Christ's SACRIFICE and that kind of OBEDIENCE takes a serious amount of FAITH.

SACRIFICE is never a substitute for OBEDIENCE, but when done by FAITH, thru OBEDIENCE it can become a very spirtual act of worship.